Masochism Pillows

'We're gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

Important Muscles.

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"This is all my own hair."

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Clothes, hell. It's the desk that makes the man."

Sado-masochists reading in bed.

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but medical science still has a lot to learn about machismo.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

Arm and leg wrestling.

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

Football ground toilets include one for mascots.

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

Hang on - It's so funny when the mascots fight!

'He's a big softie really'.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

Extreme sports psychologist.