Sadomasochism Pillows

'You see, my boy, there'll always be a market for whips.'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

Important Muscles.

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

"This is all my own hair."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"Clothes, hell. It's the desk that makes the man."

Now go wash your hands.

Sado-masochists reading in bed.

'Oh yeah? Well step outside to my hotel room and say that.'

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but medical science still has a lot to learn about machismo.'

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"Handsome isn't he? And I've heard he's the Head Bed Bug in a five-star hotel too..."

Arm and leg wrestling.

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'My mom would never let me get one before.'

'We're gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

"Now that's a splinter."