Mash-up Humorist Pillows

Mash-test Dummies.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

Gangsta wrap.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Hipster Police Department

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Fauna Hybrids

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

Shy Man at Party

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

"My dream is for this work to be crated and stored, somewhere in Singapore... forever."

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, Glenda, but you've been sitting on a golf ball for the last three times."

"There's nothing like ballpark sushi."

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"Frankincense you fool...."

"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."