Martyr Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Oh, here comes Melvin the Martyr. Just because he got here by a firing squad, he thinks he's 'holier than thou'."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Neo-International Law

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Military Medals

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Joust Sharpener

TV jester.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

underwater knight

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

Knights of the bedside table.

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'