Martial Artist Pillows

'No kidding? -- a black belt in humility?'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

'I can say 'no' in five different languages: English, Spanish, German, Russian and Karate.'

'The Pink Belt? That means I can open a child-proof caps.'

Computers can beat humans at chess but they still have a ways to go with mixed martial arts.

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

'How easy is it to get a belt ?'

'So then I said, 'Oh sure...Who's ever heard of a cat with a black belt in karate?!'

'I thought you were supposed to break the wood with your hand, not the other way around.'

"Yes, I did warn him that I was a black belt, but then he called eight of his mates over."

Martial arts man breaks chair when sitting down.

'This is a crash course.'

Tae Kwon Bull.

High Kick

'Your Thai-chi-chicken Sir.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Before I give you my bill, I warn you - I'm a black belt.'

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

When I asked you to expand your belt channel I was thinking more of energy than elastic...

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

'Him...? Oh, that's the Carrotty Kid...'

Karate fighter trying to hitch a ride to karate championships.

Ninja collapsed through ceiling onto table thinking "...like cat. Ninja is like cat."

'Anything I can break has to go.'

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

'I was in the right, but the other guy was in karate.'

'Relax, he's only a yellow belt.'

School of Karate

"To be a martial artist, one must be at peace with oneself. You must have dexterity! You must have flexibility! And you must believe in the impossible."

"Namaste! The divinity in me versus the divinity in you!"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Tai Chi

Technical knockouts