Martial Artist Gifts

'No kidding? -- a black belt in humility?'

'Dang! This guy's good!'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Martial arts and clumsiness.

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

'I can say 'no' in five different languages: English, Spanish, German, Russian and Karate.'

'They agreed to tear this house down for a third of what we pay our regular demolition team.'

'The Pink Belt? That means I can open a child-proof caps.'

Computers can beat humans at chess but they still have a ways to go with mixed martial arts.

'This is a crash course.'

'I thought you were supposed to break the wood with your hand, not the other way around.'

"Yes, I did warn him that I was a black belt, but then he called eight of his mates over."

'Anyone want to learn how to do a leg sweep? How about a roundhouse kick? it's ok, your parents know who I am!'

Martial arts man breaks chair when sitting down.

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

Tae Kwon Bull.

High Kick

'So then I said, 'Oh sure...Who's ever heard of a cat with a black belt in karate?!'

'Before I give you my bill, I warn you - I'm a black belt.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'How easy is it to get a belt ?'

'Your Thai-chi-chicken Sir.'

"Looks like it's getting a bit choppy out there."

'Him...? Oh, that's the Carrotty Kid...'

"I fear our good sheriff may be a little too fond of showing off his marshall arts."

'Anything I can break has to go.'

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

'I was in the right, but the other guy was in karate.'

'Relax, he's only a yellow belt.'

School of Karate

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

Ninja collapsed through ceiling onto table thinking "...like cat. Ninja is like cat."

Karate fighter trying to hitch a ride to karate championships.

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

When I asked you to expand your belt channel I was thinking more of energy than elastic...