Martial Arts Gifts

'I must warn you, I know tai chi. We can step outside and settle it like men, but it will have to be in slow motion.'

Cat Kung Fu

'You didn't attend our interpersonal skills seminar did you Perkins?'

'No kidding? -- a black belt in humility?'

Darling, I wish you'd stop the self defense classes, now you've got Alzheimer's.

Old Karate Master

Tony's online class in kung fu develops a sudden snag...

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

Rudolph's Krav Maga demonstration was brief, but from that day forward, none of the other reindeer laughed or called him names.

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Karate Class Clown

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

"I think your bluffing!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

Ninja convention

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

"...you're telling me you think it knows kung-fu as well."

"You're too defensive."

'Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey...'

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

'I think I'm getting the hang of it now!'

'I can't say I like the look of this...'

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

Fencing class 2nd floor.

'I can say 'no' in five different languages: English, Spanish, German, Russian and Karate.'

Karate Chop.

Computers can beat humans at chess but they still have a ways to go with mixed martial arts.

'The Pink Belt? That means I can open a child-proof caps.'

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

Karate School.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"Hi-yah!"

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'