Marriage Architect T-Shirts

"I love what you've done with him."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Do I have many meetings today?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

A Woman's Conquests.

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

Will build to suit myself.

Diplo

"You have irritable-spouse syndrome."

Fred, Mozart's equally brilliant, but lesser known brother who was a carpenter and built his first symphony hall when he was three.

"My wife finds it natural to nag, so if you hear that I died of natural causes, you'll know why."

"A special offer from the Beatrice Wiggins Marriage Bureau they may be - but I'm afraid it's still bigamy, sir..."

Rhode Island School of Desire

'The Thurstons have been working on their marriage.'

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

Castle-shaped igloo.

"I found a way to pay the mortgage. I sold the naming rights to the house."

What is acrimonious Divorce

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."

'We have a good marriage, but not a marriage made in heaven.'

"I can't play squash tonight, Ed. I promised Linda I'd put in a little Kama Sutra time with her before the opera."

'Maybe we should think about losing some weight!'

"It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together."

"My wife is all in the eye of the beholder."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, some assembly required.'

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."