Marketing Muse Gifts

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"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Jerry Lordan

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

'But what do you sell?'

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"I'm leaning towards cake as the new global currency...but are you sure these are our best options?"

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Rodin's The Thinker is surrounded by people and is thinking about wearing a mask.

'Sure, our expertise keeps ‘em here, but Mom's cookies get them through the door!'

Artist painting an artist doing a painting.

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'