Market Surfer Pillows

"Dow's up!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"You've got computer-breath."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

How I met your mother

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Sure, sure - I'm having a great vacation.'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'Daddy is going off to stimulate the economy by making gobs of money.'

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

Remote control wars.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'