Market Share Warrior T-Shirts

"Admit it gentlemen, we are no longer number one. This stupid creature is now more interested in our rival's new product."

Opening the door to new customers

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'Time to buy.'

What happens when the bears are running the market.

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

The bailout.

Making money for investors is simple

"Of course I'm depressed. Just once I'd like to be associated with an up stock market."

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

Grim Reaper leaning on scared trader.

"Returns"

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'Do it over. You spelled 'buy' wrong.'

"Sometimes I'd like to smack the stock market across the face and tell it to just chill."

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

Sold It All.

'How to make money in the stock market.'

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

Super express lane for working mothers only!

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'He's back on the ledge again! This time, he sold everything, and the market went back up.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

"Welcome shareholders to the annual report - let us pray."

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"J.P. will be joining you by speakerphone."

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

"Any chance of some credit?"