Market Muse T-Shirts

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

This Message Has No Content

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

Jerry Lordan

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

"I'm leaning towards cake as the new global currency...but are you sure these are our best options?"

Abstract portrait art.

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

"The AI art generator became self-aware, and now it just procrastinates and questions itself."

Man and boy looking at a birdhouse they have just built. It has a vacancy sign outside it like a motel.

'I think it's called RED!'

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

'My financial philosophy is a cross between Harry Truman's 'the buck stops here,' and Ronald Reagan's 'trickle down.' It's 'the trickle down stops here.''

Restaurant. Special: Fricken Chicassee. The chef shouldn't write the special when he's angry.

"It was the best of Starbucks. It was the worst of Starbucks."

Pigeon: 'Ever heard of Text Messaging?'

Woman lying on a couch admiring her portrait.

Supermarket Traffic

'Shouldn't a cultural center have more to it than video games?'

"I never knew the color red could be so incomprehensible."

So typical. Hurry up and wait.

"Money doesn't buy happiness. So instead of positive investment return, I'm giving you an antidepressant."