Maritime Tinkerer Gifts

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Early cyborg.

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

The Not-So Smart Meter

Gadget geek.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Bicycle sat nav.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.