Marital Philosophers Pillows

She realized with horror that she had settled for Les.

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"Love comes and goes, Janet, but this is true co-dependency!"

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

You are cordially invited...

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

"Like the old saying goes, when the cat's away, the mouse better not do anything that'll get him choked out when the cat gets back."

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

"A guy can fall in love with a smile, then make the mistake of marrying the whole girl."

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

"... And the only time he takes me out, is to bring me here!"

"Why do you always side with him?!"