Marital Harmony Seeker T-Shirts

"We took your advice and worked things out."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

'Once you convince your partners to let me work at home, you'll need to convince my wife.'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'Do you, Edward, promise to play second fiddle and also pay the piper?'

" I think we have a deal. He goes walking down the street with you as long as you refrain from singing do wah diddy, diddy dum diddy do."

"So you both think each other is an idiot. . . who said we wouldn't find some common ground?"

Marimba

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"I think we'd make a good team!"

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

"Be kind"

A child interrupting family prayers

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"Can you forget about that damn moon for two seconds and lend me a hand with the harmony?"

May your Christmas be full of harmony

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

Most valuable element.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"I lost the groove."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Scarecrow for hanging bird houses

Separation Anxiety

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

The best relationships are silent.

A divided world.

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."