Household Harmony Seekers T-Shirts

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

"I know it's summer, and you'd rather be at the beach...but I've got to finish the ironing!"

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Separation Anxiety

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

A woman's work is never done!

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Looks like I do dishes again.

Magic Carpet Cleaning

Blanket Pull

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.'

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

'Do you, Edward, promise to play second fiddle and also pay the piper?'

"I apologize for the mess."

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

"Roommates"