Marital Escapologist T-Shirts

"You have a right to know—I've been married occasionally."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

Houdini 2019

"If my husband finds out about us. . .listen, we must cover our tracks so well that no one believes that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time!"

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"I'm un-retiring today. Spending time with my family with hell."

'Wait for me!'

Danny always had trouble with math. (written on board: Ohio is the capital of Wisconsin.'

"I'm out if that is a manufacturer."

"The Judge gave me a choice - marry his daughter or go to jail. You're looking at a happy man."

Tortured by music

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

"Another tiny victory in my never-ending quest for fun."

'Jane It used to be jungle out there'

"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"

"I fled from suppression, torture, exploitation and bullies."

"Now remember, act normal!"

Halfway around the learning curve, Bob lets go.

'Not so fast Mr. Smith... you're forgetting the fit note I've filled out for your employer.'

"This is Munch's 'Sent to all by mistake'."

'Murray the magician is not here, he quit in a blaze of glory.'

"How's the divorce going?"

"You haven't said a word to me all night."

Boo!