Marital Dispute Master Pillows

'Everytime I want to talk, you run off to check your damn crab pots!'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

Fishing 'Just what the Hell IS your problem lady??'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

'Objection over-ruled!'

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

'You deserve one another, but I don't deserve you!'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

'Share your innermost feelings or the remote gets it.'

'You say he's stubborn, mean, cantankerous, won't take orders, sometimes won't move? Are you talking about your mule or your husband?'

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"This is just like you, beverly. We're supposed to meet alone and you bring your attorney."

'Right! That's bloody it! I'm calling for the wife-whisperer.'

'To you, it's alphabet soup...to me, it's verbal abuse.'

"Not right now, Sweetie, mommy's got her own 'Partisan Impasse' to deal with."

"Excluding our little granddaughter who calls me 'horrible old smellypops!'"