Marine Mammal Sculptor T-Shirts

"You're hand-crafting cetaceans?" "It gives me a sense of porpoise"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"Technically, it's a mammal."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Watching Sea Life.

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

'Oi! You threw that on Porpoise!'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'Another nice wave.'

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'This is tasty and all, but do you really think this is a great idea considering we have hundreds of teeth?'

The Hudson River School of Art.

Whale blowing soap-bubbles.

Topiary bushes in the form of pointing hands. People are looking in the directions that the fingers are pointing.

'I'm a marine. This is our new camouflage.'

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

'Oh Darren, I just love what you've done with your dung.'

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

"It's amazing the way you've trained them to be so accommodating."

'Well, I don't care how you did it at home, Walters, this is not how we handle this sorta thing at seaworld...'

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"

Topiary Portraits

"Oh year?! Well, MY daddy is the largest of the largest animal species on earth!"

"I dunno... It's just not the same without snow."

Garden Art

Though there was always a smile, Trixie the dolphin had a hard time expressing true emotions.

Topiary chair.

"There are worse places to be beached."

'I still don't get it. I can't see the likeness.'

'Well it's o.k. but you should see his Taj Mahal.'

Marine painting in Malta (oils)

"Can you get a bit off - the last three ships you did went down head first."

Surfer holds an umbrella to keep dry.