Marine Hobbies T-Shirts

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

"Mind the whale, dear."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Fish snorkling above water.

"I don't do windows."

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

Sperm Whale.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Batman O' War

"Congratulations on becoming a mom! Wow, he has such a big..."

COWMIKAZES

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"He's a keeper!"

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'

Shark food pyramid.

'CANNONBALL!!' - Whale tours.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Ever Given

"I've been at loose ends lately."

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

Making fun of Starfish.

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."