Marathon Trainer Gifts

"I am in awe - after his daily toil, he still finds the energy to train for a marathon."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Dog Walking Services

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Running

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Perils of the double play.

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Hanging off every word...

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Quality Control

"I told him he should have trained more."

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

'First of all, relax.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."