Manuscript Marauder T-Shirts

Manuscripts.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

"I think the milk's off!"

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."

'Too many exclamation points!!!!!!'

I'm turning to the 'Duck' side!

Mars Rover's wheels stolen.

"Not a word, Doc! I'm having hot flashes!"

"Adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, clauses...I'll never learn to speak English!"

'While you were attempting to seize the day, our competition seized a big chunk of our business!'

'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'

Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell

"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."

'You make a HELLUVA bowl of chili, Donna!!'

"I know you people are a bunch of incurable optimists, but I think this financial report is the cure for that."

The Commandos go shopping

'Your Latest Book? Just giving it some attention'

'Bugs ain't nothin', kid - just wait till you swallow a BUZZARD!'

'Our guest has asked that we obscure his identity.'

'Wait a minute - isn't it a bad sign when the 'fasten seatbelts' sign is flashing?'

"I don’t get it - we had all those meetings."

Garage Sale

Graveyard Shifts

'If I'm not home by midnight, my wife turns on the electric fence.'