Manuscript Admirer Gifts

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

Monk scribe has written elaborate LOL.

Monk taking ages to sign his new book

Monk Mistake

Monk Jokes

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"Oh great, the printer is down."

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

A pretention of playwrights

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

Editor.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

Joseph and his coat

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

"I'm afraid I have to recuse myself, ladies. I don't want to be responsible for the Trojan War."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."