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"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

X-ray Psychology.

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Island of Lost Guys.

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

I think therefore I am.

Boys Cooking

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Confirmation Bias

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number