Manatee Maven T-Shirts

"It's funny...back when I first signed up to 'Adopt an Endangered Manatee', I thought they just wanted me to send money. Instead, little Julia came along and changed my life forever."

Muscles

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Ninja bread men"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Myths and legends...

"Like that?"

'Gesundheit.'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Call me Ishmael."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Body Building Mishap

Greek Tragedy: 'Yes... we agree to further cuts in government spendings..!!!'

Politeness opens doors

"Gesundheit!"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Fetch! What about a please?"

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

Facial hair continental drift.

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"