Management Philosopher Gifts

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

Motivation to work

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Just go with the workflow."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

The role of administration.

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'