Management Humor Appreciator Pillows

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

Job complaints on road signs.

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'