Management Book Lover T-Shirts

"He keeps staring at me, do you think he's having some kind of a seizure?" "Managing negotiations Chapter 3...maintain eye contact whilst reinforcing image of strength and warmth."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

Subordinate Employee

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

The little engine that delegated

Leadership Training

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

"Effective leadership is more than just telling everybody to be like you!"

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

"Employee satisfaction is of utmost importance and I'm not leaving this chair till you are satisfied."

"You have no idea how political this place is."

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

Company Structure - Boss and his yes men.

Two businessmen competing.

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

What is the difference between a boss and a leader?

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"As my CV says, my approach to project management is of course "the carrot or the stick"..."

'Newgate, you'll be reporting to Cunningham, who'll be reporting directly to me. I, in one of those unexplainable paradoxes of the business world will be reporting to you,'

"Then, at 3:45, you usher in a whole new era. I brought your flashlight."

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

"Success is buying your experience cheap and selling at a profit."

'You're not always right you know.'