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Company Structure - Boss and his yes men.

Subordinate Employee

'There's an assertiveness training course. Want to go?'

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."

'You're not always right you know.'

If Supermarkets were run like the NHS

"You're welcome to follow me, but no drafting."

The little engine that delegated

Leadership Training

"Listening to your dad's 'leadership' tapes does not make you the 'boss of me'."

Leadership is not always about being right.

"Today's training session is about delegation, so would someone like to come up and take over from me?"

What is the difference between a boss and a leader?

'Newgate, you'll be reporting to Cunningham, who'll be reporting directly to me. I, in one of those unexplainable paradoxes of the business world will be reporting to you,'

'Problem solved.'

"It's pretty simple: the CEO lies to you managers, you lie to the department heads, they lie to the accountants who lie to the customers."

"Employee satisfaction is of utmost importance and I'm not leaving this chair till you are satisfied."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Let's get organized

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

How leaders fail

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Organization is not rocket science!

The Rubber Ball Company

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Uh-Oh..."

Maybe clean out your wallet