Modern Management Aficionado T-Shirts

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

Office temperature.

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

The little engine that could delegate.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Subordinate Employee

The little engine that delegated

Leadership Training

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

"I make it a point to hire people smarter than me."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

The Genghis Khan School of Business Skills

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

"Norman, leadership is about more than telling everyone to be more like you."

"You have no idea how political this place is."

'It's true, nobody ever elected me C.E.O. However, I always just assumed I was.'

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

"Employee satisfaction is of utmost importance and I'm not leaving this chair till you are satisfied."

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

Company Structure - Boss and his yes men.

'What the hell is a win-win situation?'

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."