Man Utd Fanatic Pillows

Sir Alex Ferguson breaks seven-year boycott of the BBC.

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Raheem Sterling

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Kenny Dalglish

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

Beer Order

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'