Man U Devotee Pillows

'He filed for bankrupcy when he got behind on the repayments for his Man U. shirt.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

Cristiano Ronaldo

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

Suffrage - Franchise for Females

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Alex Ferguson

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"

Dumocrats

Give Thanks.

Ryan Giggs

'Entente Cordiale: When Eric [Cantona]kisses the badge on his shirt it turns round and kisses him right back!'

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

"Well, there's the stick. One of us is going to have to get it."

'I'd like to ask the council's advice on how to get the congregation to sit closer to the front of the church.'

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

Standup... Nihilist

Genco - A Corleone Subsidiary

Calvin Coolidge

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'

Footballers - Jaap Staam

Hand picked by Fergie...

Slow Roast Yoga

Seinfeld.

Bruno Fernandes

'Take five -- I need another cold shower.'

Footballers - Eric Cantona

Two military officers

Daily Devotional

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Trump his rants will keep. If he should tweet before I wake, I pray my votes the Trump won't take."

US Democrat's voting super-delegates.