Mama's Boy Enthusiasts Pillows

'The computer keeps matching you up with your mother.'

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

Muy mum rocks.

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

'You dance like my mother.'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

'She's the primary caregiver!'

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

Single parents.

"Come on Mum, I'm fully grown-up, surely you can let my friend come between you and me safely..."

'We need a man with daring and drive. Do you think your son is this man?'

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

"It's your mother calling."

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

Mother and Baby

"Don't worry, your "Mama Bear Instinct" will kick in once you have your first baby..."

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."