Mall Crawler Gifts

"I shop to forget what I bought last year."

"Mom, I'm bored sitting around here looking at my phone. Can you drive me to the mall so I can look at it there?"

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Hollister. Aero. Fitch. Grandma.

Gillbies' annual GIANT SALE!

'Oh, I love it! How many malls per gallon does it get?'

'Muriel feels that a woman's place is in the home -- to rest up between trips to the mall.'

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

Alien Abduction

"Honey, I quit my job to go shopping everyday!"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

"An everything Martini, please."

Beers

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Men gossiping