Male Ego Expert Gifts

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

Island of Lost Guys.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The Organic

"I noticed a few browns."

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

The Stages of Wine

Beard fails

Two men in barber shop

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

My Life in Beards.

"Waiter, there's a man bun in my soup."

Clock Tower Shadow

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

Moses as a teenager

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

Tom prepares for his hot date.

'He's a goatee herder.'

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"She has your soul patch."

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

'I have a proceeding hairline. It runs in my family. . .'

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'