Makeup Artist In Denial Gifts

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"Where are my eyelashes?"

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

Woman applying makeup

Alien Beauty Magazine

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

Complete Makeover

"More concealer?"

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

Television guests' essentials in November.

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

The girl who has everything...