Make-up Maverick Pillows

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I don't like your application."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Where are my eyelashes?"

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Woman applying makeup

First love.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"More concealer?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."