Make-up Maverick Pillows

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"Where are my eyelashes?"

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Have you got your make up on yet?

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Woman applying makeup

First love.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

"Your mascara is running."

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"More concealer?"