Makeup Magician Pillows

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

"More concealer?"

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Cowgirl lipstick.

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Where are my eyelashes?"

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Alien Beauty Magazine

Woman applying makeup

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."