Makeup Artistry Pillows

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Too much concealer?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Have you got your make up on yet?

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Where are my eyelashes?"

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Alien Beauty Magazine

First love.

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Woman applying makeup

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'