Cosmetic Art Pillows

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.