Mailman Whisperer Gifts

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Santa called but you were out!

"Mail's here."

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Man and Machine snoozing

'Grrrr....'

"Love your feng shui!"

The birth of junk mail.

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

Beware of the Dragon

'Dang! My applications as a mailman, a football player and a dancing teacher got rejected. I guess I've got to go on hunting that stupid white whale...'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"I know a lot of classmates will say, 'Oh no, not another essay about mailmen.'"

Fine Print Letters

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

You Shouldn't Have