Mail Ordering Pillows

Toast by Post

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'How is the water prepared?'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Santa called but you were out!

'Grrrr....'

'The kids are grown and gone now, but they always keep in touch.'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Dog traps the postman.

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'Beware of the teenager.'

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Insta-Cat - Mailing a letter, I see.

The Complete Cycle.

"There's the mailman!"

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

"Just junk mail."

Beware of the dog.

Astronaut startled by post delivered to spaceship.

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

In 5 Years...

'My wife doesn't appreciate that I push the envelope every day.'

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.