Ordering In Pillows

"The closest we get to an intimate dining experience is ordering delivery together."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'I got tired of waiting and sent out for pizza!'

The Takeaway.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Monk Prompt

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

'Pop-up Bible.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

The Complete Cycle.

Priest

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

Church Hymn

'Before a big presentation like this, it's imperative to have all your meds in a row.'

Continental marshal

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"Reverend your sermon was divine, naturally."