Mail Maven Pillows

Pay more attention to your mail. All those pre-approved credit cards should raise your self-esteem.

US Postal - Service unknown.

Mohamed Al-Fayed.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Direct Marketing...

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Let us pray...'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!