Email Maven Pillows

'I used to hate spam until I figured out how to make $78,000,000 sending it.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Apples for sale

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Direct Marketing...

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Trade Show Sherpas

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'