Magical Thinking Fan T-Shirts

Genie - 'I grant you one wish!' Girl - 'Neuter all men!'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Arthur Schopenhauer

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Caption contest"

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

Dairy Potter.

"My psychic tells me I was a glass of water in a previous life."

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

Magical box of chocolates.

Your karma will catch up with you!

Therapist with a jack-o-lantern head talks to their patient who is a witch.

'Would you believe that somebody asked me to deliver their mail yesterday Where did that come from'

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'Don't rush me! I need some time to process everything.'

The slow cooker changed everything

"Get Doc Weston and tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight."

Fat Kid 27- Makes a slug

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer is a know-it-all

"So...you drive stick."

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

"But if he's right, it'll save us years of experimenting."

"Ok you there, text me a number, any number..."

"You have a strong interest in sports."

Patrolman writes ticket for witch's broom parked illegally.

'We should talk more.'