Magical Realist T-Shirts

Characters jumping out of a book.

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

Genius.

Parking spaces for broomsticks.

Witch uses her broomstick as a washing line.

Something happened to the cows...

Bathroom Fairy

Chicken wishbone makes son's wish come true

Mother of all candidates

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"We'll always have Paris..."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Marriage least expected to last...

Isabel Allende

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

A Zircon Is Forever

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"My computer just texted me."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

Unconditional Loveseat