Magic Shopper Gifts

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'Witch? Best broom buys'

Jungle Stores.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

Mall of ages

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

Clown in supermarket looking at a tin of Canned Laughter.

"What grade would you like - basic, better or best?"

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

Bag for life and a bag for wife.

White Sale

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

Maze Leading to a Cheese Shop

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

'Do you have any oranges?'

Undercover Santa

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

Aura Ashley - Mediumwear.

'They're very easy to use - just remember not to press the large button marked 'Nitro' '

"I bought this one behind my art consultant's back."

'Come on, Raymond, we haven't reached our credit limit yet!'

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

At the monster supermarket.

Just for the Smell of It - Candle Shop.

"I'm going to need the promotion code."

Remember, son, we're men. We walk in. We buy. We walk out. No browsing. Sweaters. (Originally published on 2008-01-14).

I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. R