Magic Mad-hatter Gifts

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

We'll have Manhattans...

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'Welcome to the first support group for people who wish they were at Hogwarts.'

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

God creates humans.

Arabian Nights.

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

"We can't be the only three."

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"

"No more holidays with YOU! - I told you not to upset the witchdoctor!"

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

A trap for Santa

'Your drink, madam. Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.'

Frankie the discount genie

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Fortune Teller using a satellite to help pick up clairvoyant signals.

Triplets

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 32

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

'Your behavior is inappropriate and completely unacceptable!' 'Talk to the hand!'

"The whole world is crazy except for me and thee...and sometimes I wonder about thee!"

Venus Fly Trap Hat

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'I can't do next Friday'

'No pennies.'

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

Tommy Cooper.