Magic Carpet Enthusiasts Pillows

'I get profiled every time I travel now.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Toadstools

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Rocking Witches.

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"It's probably just seasonal."

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

"I was hoping we could order pizza tonight."

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

Improve your leaping ability or your money back.

Happy Birthday Magicians of America

Genie in bottle grants maid's wish.

Paul and Debbie.

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

A Magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat while behind him a clown pulls a carrot out of his.

Oscars

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

'I don't understand. . . My escape trick has always worked!'

"Returns"

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

'Remember that summer we coached little league?'

'And who are you wearing?'

The Great Sarcasmo

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.